A Soft weave..

You are different now

I have no love left, nor fear, or bitterness

Life longs for that sweet innocent love

Life is different now

You have no ramblings, nor fear, or sorrows

Your jest speaks of trifles , boldness and of facts

Facts are no more fantasies

You broke open your cocoon

And there you are , with wings, colours and strength

Strength baffles my heart

A moth still I am , prisoner of my weave

Nevertheless, my God lent me a purpose

Painless, and in slumber, I part with my home..

Home , sweet  home

Where he resides in his splendor

And after chains of joy and longing

We reach HIS form, me and you...

सर्व भूतानी कौन्तेय प्रकृतिं यान्ति मामिकाम I

कल्पक्षये पुनस्तानि कल्पदौ विस्रुयाम्यहम I

At the end of a cycle, O son of Kunti! all beings return to the unmanifested state of my Cosmic nature.At the begining of the next great cycle, I cast them forth again.(9:7)

( hmmm.. I try to think in tamil and write in english... please bear with me..A mini anthaathi. ;)... )

 

Insatiable...

This love isn’t a flower

To have withered and lost

My love was a fire

It devoured everything

Yourself and me..

And when it asked for more

I showed my dear God.

Is there a devotee’s pangs of separation?

If my answer is an Yes, I would be wrong, If my answer is a no- I still would be wrong.But so many things have changed in the past and I  had promised to become a devotee for kannan’s sake.Not that I loathe the decision. In fact that was his way to bring me into his fold.But I only fear my conscience as to how far I am true to my promise.I have a profession, I have a family, I have my kannan too.when the balance trips,my dear ones are startled.But I know that he takes care of me with my worries.sometimes my soul gets startled when  I feel that I  veer out of my path.I am no different person. I am one among others , with deceit, loathe, passion, love and desires, but with some new found love towards kannan.The reason behind this maybe because that  I started reading some 4000 verses in tamil.The mysticism in those poems completely captivated my heart, especially the 1000 by Nammazhwar..

So to answer the question posed by Kpartha ( Ah, nice symbolism-I mean the name)I'll get the help from nammazhwar's verses..( and hide behind him)

நெறிகாட்டி நீக்குதியோ? நின்பால் கருமா
முறிமேனி காட்டுதியோ? மேனாள்- அறியோமை
என் செய்வான் எண்ணினாய்? கண்ணனே! ஈதுரையாய்
என் செய்தால் என்படோம் யாம்?

Ignorant  now I am, ignorant I was in days past

What maketh me of myself ,  my dear lord?

showing  thine path ,will you part?

Else will you wait, to behold my hand?

Whatever be your design, I dither not

Abandoned too , I’ll track thy path..

Nammazhwar.

þ¨ÅÂý§È ¿øÄ; þ¨ÅÂý§È ¾£Â

þ¨Å¦Âý È¢¨ÅÂȢ §ÉÖõ- þ¨ÅÂøÄ¡õ

±ýÉ¡ø «¨¼ôÒ¿£ì ¦¸¡ñ½¡Ð; þ¨ÈÂŧÉ!

±ýÉ¡ø ¦ºÂüÀ¡Ä ¦¾ý?

These are verily good for my heart

These are to be frowned by the soul

These are good and bad, I know

You fit myself into  these, my lord

Without thy designs and your word

How am I to know the chaff?

Nammazhwar

Be a part of myself....

My heart is melting,

Say not  comforting words

Please melt with me

My eyes are moist

Don't try a wiping hand

Just fill the void

The burden is heavy

Don't try lifting it..

Just be a part of it

For this sadness

Is not bought by suffering

But by separation

Till His light clears the mist

And forms little droplets on the leaves

Let this coldness cover the woods...


 

Wild flowers do have fragrance...

Love captures two beating hearts

When love is dead, the heart still beats..

The breeze carries the scent of the forest

When the air is still the essence isn’t lost..

Memories haunt, yet they are so dear.

For a wild flower too have petals so soft.

And when some day  my eyes shed tears

They'll wash the folly of nature and the past..

This was inspired by a poem by hope..  http://theworksofhope.blogspot.com
thank you madam..

Unto his feet..

Happiest was my love, ‘cos it hurts me the most.

I wish to be born like you, to live and bury the past.

I gave you my words and  you let them fly free,

For you never needed them to be kept forever..

I loved my heart, I loved my words, I loved my promises

Though all these three are  never wanted anymore

A bruised heart needs some distant time to heal

Till another  set of memories lash to open fresh wounds

My soul took the shape of the vessel you offered.

Drained since HE desired, to become one with ‘HIM’

Placid is my lord... Nammazhwar pasuram

I had once put a query, while telling about a pasuram by thirumazhisai azhwar.. “ Do I make God appear too menial?”. I got an answer for that from Nammazhwar.Actually azhwar in tamil simply means some one who is ‘immersed’.. Immersed in the love towards HIM..These mystic saints were so immersed  in bhakthi  that we do not know the actual names of 4 of the 12 azhwars  and  in fact thirumazhisai azhwar  is called by the name of his place of birth . It doesn’t mean that the others were having royal patronage. They sung only in praise of HIM and one could rarely find names of kings or chieftains in their songs and that is exactly the reason why there is so much confusion in ascertaining their period or dates.

And about this pasuram., I liked this one  because this reflects so much about a personal God, the incomprehensible ,omnipotent ,supreme being is simply told in words that make him become close and amiable for a devotee..And my heart carries this song like a child which carries it ‘s favourite toy, often caressing the words and admiring the meaning..

ÀòШ¼ «ÊÂÅ÷ìÌ ±Ç¢ÂÅý, À¢È÷¸ÙìÌ «¡¢Â

Å¢ò¾¸ý ÁÄ÷Á¸û Å¢ÕõÒõ ¿õ «Õõ¦ÀÈø «Ê¸û

ÁòÐÚ ¸¨¼ ¦Åñ¦½ö ¸ÇŢɢø ¯ÃÄ¢¨¼ ¡ôÒñÎ

±ò¾¢Èõ ¯ÃÄ¢¦É¡Î þ¨½ó¾¢ÕóÐ ²í¸¢Â ±Ç¢§Å!

His humility baffles my words, and placid is my lord

So easy to his devotees, yet difficult for others

Easy to reprimand and allowed to be tied

For his pranks and his stealth,killing all his pride

Mighty  though as he , is the consort of sri..

He still is a desciple for his humble devotees.

Nammazhwar..