A chasing after the wind...

"Shut up" , I told in a fit of anger. 
I don't remember what came out of my mouth. The others silently watching me seething with anger, for I was known to be quiet and easygoing.
The discomfiture was  brewing in the department for quiet sometime. All subtle ways to lessen the altercations were futile.
There were rules passed, each one were asked to sit in separate out patient rooms, people were allotted to work as different units and I took charge of taming the juniors as well as allowing due respect to senior professors.I myself had to dissociate from mingling casually like before.
But this became a recurring problem, because I was way too young to pass strictures on people who were the age of my medical teachers. I now felt the problem of running a department with two senior women and two junior ladies who had nevertheless started despising each other.
My chamber was already occupied by the seniors and I had to make way for a fresh seat and room. The newly joined professor was promised the chair but I was asked to sign the papers for medical council at the last moment. That might have been a reasons for throwing fresh challenges everyday.
The day I was dragged to a fight because of a trivial matter, I lost my cool and had to confront vehemently.
Later on I felt sad for being rude to seniors and being judgmental towards juniors as well.

The next day I called for a departmental meeting and had to sort out the grievances. Finally, it was inevitable that I had to distance myself from both the parties. But late that evening I had to listen to various versions of the issue from my wife at home thanks to my juniors.

All these happened a month ago. No one threatens to quit their job now, and we make it a habit to sit in a common room for our morning coffee..
Yesterday while I was just leafing the pages of bible which was inside one of the drawers while having coffee, I heard my prof say ' Saravana , have you read the book before?'. I answered in affirmative. Then she told ' Read the chapter on ecclesiastes, I have gained a lot from that'
I read all the 12 chapters and called to tell her that I need more time to read those six pages.
She smiled and told " There is nothing Christian in those chapters, just to make sure that you are not offended by my suggestion,  I knew you would like those chapters "
I felt so small.


Ecl 8
15 So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad...

The race is not to the swift
    or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
    or wealth to the brilliant
    or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all..