Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Dear bygone year....

I soared to the heights, enjoying the flight and mood.
Unmindful of  how insignificant became the world
With ecstasy and happiness as my wings spread apart..
Surging  ahead till my pinions burnt and sight did part.
Blindfolded I fell into  some unknown abyss
Cursing the  haughtiness, yet  savouring the bliss..
OH! This sorrow marks a definite means to measure
The seams of love which  I held close with pleasure,
Blameless though, for my dear heart could  learn
To love with purity and to give without restrain..
Of what use is lamenting for a lost wing now
When before ,I never attempted to fly ,anyhow..

Friday, December 24, 2010

varam tharuvaaya?

 ( காதல் காதல் காதல்..
காதல் போயின் , காதல் போயின்
சாதல், சாதல் , சாதல்..பாரதியார் )

 காதல்  இன்றி வாழ்தல் கூட
சாதலை  போன்றதே , மெல்லச்சாதல் !
உயிரே , உயிரை பிரிந்தப்பின்னே
என்னானால் உன் கவலைகள் என்ன?
போதும் என்றாய் புரிந்துக்கொண்டேன்
புரிந்தது போல் என்னை வருத்திக்கொண்டேன்
அழுகைப்போதும், உருகும்போதும்
தனிமைப்போதும் துணை யாரிங்கே?
இருந்தால் அன்பை முழுமனதுடன்  தா..
சென்றால் சுவடொன்றில்லாமல் போ !
அடிமை கொள்வாய் 'கண்ணா' என்றேன்
விடைகொடுத்துப்பின் வந்து சேரென்றான்....

Thursday, December 23, 2010

How can I forget??.....

The dead are  long dead, buried with their innocence
The path is obscure, why do you glance?
A fresh bud does not carry any more
the life and fragrance of old flower;
‘We’ as old thoughts lost their meaning
Painful though, as love was weaning.
I do wander past in the old woods
Gathering memories like lost goods..
How can I forget, for I am not dead
‘N Walk past both worlds, free to tread
I stand at the mound with silent prayers
Waiting  for HIM to lead to HIS chambers..

Sunday, December 19, 2010

In waves.....

Lost son? lost love? lost life and grace?
I lost something which i could never trace.
Your name does bring a fresh stab of pain
My startled heart sings in a sorrowful vein
Which pied piper led you to a trap?
Left behind, I cuddle myself in a wrap..
In some ethereal space you’ve tracked
I forgot all magic words to recall you back.
When i couldn’t bring a dead person alive..
Why do i sit here, lament and wail?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A wanderer's wish....

I happened to read this pasuram while I was wiling my evening in clinic..It is said that Thiruvaasakam by Manikkavasagar is supposed to be rich in devotion and human craving towards God..Though I had a book of thiruvaasakam I  never had  read beyond few verses. But this pasuram by Nammazhwar in tiruvaaimozhi immediately made my heart sink in melancholy. I read those tamil verses several times with my eyes filled up. I believe that there is an English translation of tiruvaimozhi by A.K.Ramanujan . Don't know the exact publishers or the year of publication and availability of the book.I thought I couldn't translate the poem though I slowly attempted  to do that. I have done some translation of meanings.But I don't know whether I have captured the heart of the poetry. Sometimes translations  become dry if we try to overdo it, especially the way it starts in this poem - " NaNNaathaar muruvalippa,  naLLutraar karainthu yaenga..."Hmm.. what can I substitute for karainthu yaenga?..( in despair writhe my dear ones is an understatement..).  eNNaraath thuyar vilaivikkum ivai enna ulagu iyarkkai?!. is it ? or !.This statement attains significance if we consider the solitude in  which Nammazhwar spent his whole life. Never he was the Prince-heir for his desperate parents, nor did he marry and foster a family during his life!.

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±ñ½¡Ã¡ò ÐÂ÷ Å¢¨ÇÅ¢ìÌõ þ¨Å ±ýÉ ¯ÄÌ þÂü쨸!
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¾ñ½¡Å¡Ð «Ê§Â¨Éô À½¢¸ñ¼¡ö, º¡Á¡§È...

A wanderer’s  wish....
In quest of you death- leveler,
Long awaited and worn- Ye deliver
my soul unto his feet -A gift
to my dear, my lord – adrift
I sway in this uncertain world – countless
are the sorrows,its nature – ruthless
and uneven  its spirit-  for in despair
writhe my dear ones – with cheer
do my foes smile- I pray
death, hasten, for i loathe further to stay....
Nammazhwar..( 8th century)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

வலியோடு வாழ்ந்து விடலாம்

நெஞ்சில் தைத்த அம்புகளை
பிய்த்து தொடுத்துக்கொண்டிருக்கிறேன்
கவிதை எனும் கணைகளாய் ....
இருபுறமும் குருதியோடி
உயிரை குடிப்பது அறியாமலேயே

Saturday, December 11, 2010

of virtue and vice....

Some queries puzzle us. I ponder over a lunch time discussion. My colleagues expounded the greatness of annadaanam. I just plainly told i don’t believe in annadaanam. Especially the annadaanam provided in temples.They were shocked by my statement..i told that there is no free lunch in this world. By providing food we make people lazy. There is always enough work to earn a livelihood. I know of an old lady who used to work for me. Her husband had cerebral palsy and she had to look after him. She would make all necessary arrangements at home and then come for work. She used to tell with passion, if  i didn’t have this responsibility i would happily accompany you to whichever place you go, to take care of your family and to work for you. So then what about people who are infirm? Providing food is the greatest virtue sir, they told.Isn’t  it the government’s responsibility to look after its citizens? It  is sometime the inaction or the lack of responsibility which places people depend on others for their basic necessities. Probably i don’t know how destitutes are created. I support instituitionalised care for mentally unsound people. Many charitable endowments have made a big difference in the livelihood of abandoned children, infirm and old people. But some action is missing. Some responsibility was shrugged. I would feel unhappy if I have to pray for the wellbeing of the donor who has provided my lunch. Kannan, more than a god , was a radical reformist. The interpretation of his words were tailor made to suit their philosophies. But when the purpose of telling Gita is explored it is obvious that he is guiding Arjuna to perform his slated action, the responsibility of a soldier in battlefield.
I happened to read a Nammazhwar ‘s pasuram yesterday which threw some light on my predicament. 

கிற்பன் கில்லேன் என்றிலன் முனம் நாளால் 
அற்ப சாரங்கள் அவை சுவைத்து அகன்றொழியேன்
பற்பல ஆயிரம் உயிர் செய்த பரமா ! நின் 
நற்பொன் சோதித்தாள் நனுகுவது எஞ்ஞான்றோ

Tasting the fruits of good deeds and vice
I lingered past ages away from your eyes
My father, your creation baffles my mind
The day of our union, my soul yearns to find


Buddhiyukto jahaateeha ubhe sukrita dushkrite;
Tasmaad yogaaya yujyaswa yogah karmasu kaushalam
A person with evenness of mind casts of in this life both good and evil deeds; therefore devote your self to yoga; and yoga is nothing but skill in action. Gita ( 2:50)
Easier than everything else is surrendering unto his lotus feet..

Not to be born again or mukthi is the highest ideal in Hinduism...I remember something which i've written long time back..

"HE" heard me tell
'I'm fish out of  water
without you three
And laughed at me..
To give and take,
to sow and reap.
burdens of soul
All in a heap
to uproot a tree
with roots underneath
all are his designs..
could I complain?
love ,friendship and affection
how does it matter?
all are events past
tis his manner
how long will you join hands
like petals of flowers
lasting for an evening
time  trickles by
compared with itself
short or long..
events move past
my desires more
worthiness low
to be born again
I dread to the core...

Monday, December 6, 2010

Open the gate...

Don't close the doors upon me..
There's a separate world for both of us, I agree
The squeaking low and the closing slow
I fear, unnoticed does the worlds separate and go.

Don't close the doors upon me..
let there be some niceties to barter free
Happiness to share and words strengthening the soul
collective prayers and a hand to correct when foul

Don't close the world  with a door..
For it brings remorse and bitterness against each other
Let a ray of light pass and shadows dance
For our dear God doesn't give life a second chance...

Friday, December 3, 2010

If I can offer you a gift....

If  I could change some things in my life
I would ask God to change
the way you loved me

If I could forget some words of the past
I would ask God to erase
the one strong word by you..

If I could stay for a day in heaven
I would ask god to let you
be yourself beside me..

If  I could offer some comfort and solace to you
I would ask God to help me
find happiness within me.

But when I am dull with bitterness and solitude
and God asks me to spell out the reason
I have none other than Himself to blame...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Are you listening??

How less could l have loved you
To survive the loss with lesser pain
My story untold, I never knew
that to this day I live and I feign
a cheerful face and a strong heart.
Covering my scars with a faint smile
Deep though, I weep and I’m hurt
Alone should I endure all the while.

What better design you have,my dear god
Forsaken, cast away, you took away my world