Sunday, November 28, 2010


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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Reflecting your thoughts always...

Brimming waters of the lake
Reflects the colours of the sky
The same life giving sun
Scorches to reveal its  barrenness
Silently awaiting its fill
Of another monsoon waters!
He has sucked the life out of me
My soul drags this body along
Like a hungry beggar clothed in rags
Pleading for a new lease of garb

A soul replaces an outworn body with a new one...Gita2.22

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The broken bridge..

காலப்போக்கில் அடித்து செல்லப்பட்ட
பரிமாற்றங்கள் ...
உடைந்துவிட்ட பாலமாய்
மனங்களை இணைக்கும்
அன்பென்னும் பாலம்
எஞ்சி நிற்ப்பது
நினைவுகள் என்னும்
தூர்ந்து போன தூன்கள்தான்

 A photo from aminus3..sundar's photoblog inspired me to write this..

The dreamer

I had some dreams before
Not very far from today
Hiding secretly inside but
Passionate to pursue..
Half hearted to chase them..
Whither did I falter?
For HE took over me,
My dreams ,My all and my desires
I do secretly hide back
A few of borrowed dreams..
And I know that without dreams
My heart would ‘ve turned  to stone

Monday, November 22, 2010

A river in spate

Drowned in the swelling waters
A living temple lost its life
Gone with the turbulence is the
Grace, the light and the loving god
flowing still is the river
its surface appears steady and calm
flowing still is the river
A stream who's lost its charms..

Friday, November 19, 2010

I do believe in miracles

I wandered  past the river bed,
Collecting pebbles all along
Bending down to pick a few,
Of green and  white with crimson hue
Pocketing some in a deeper pouch
Throwing at random, few of doubt
Bemused , sad and forlorn though
I sat down counting on my store..
Poured them all over the sand
Round , oval, small and bland..
Bewitched I found a dazzling stone
Of ruby red, so bright it shone
all those worthless pebbles i threw
closeted the only treasure i knew..
I danced with joy and madness crept
My life, my life, with joy I wept
And there you came, asking for me..
‘Whither did you roam my dear?’
‘For long i searched, beloved ‘you said.
Pulled my arms and opened my hand
‘Ah!, my lost gem’ you told
‘Tis mine’, and held it close to heart,
I buckled and on my knees I bent
Covered my face and wept and wept.
My  pain, by your smile you swept.
‘You too are dear to me’ you said.
A web of passion you generate
As  easy as a twig,you   break

Captive of your mysterious ways
I'd  follow the glow of your heart
A serf, my lord  you lead me through
For in miracles I do believe now

Sunday, November 14, 2010

My yoga teacher...

Got up early in the morning and finished jogging. It had rained in the night and the air was fresh.Wild flowers bloomed all along the way reminding of what the azhwars have described about kannan. Variously as blue, violet,crimson and golden yellow of 'sree' from his chest changing his whole hue.Forgot the pasuram but I now wonder how correctly the phrase' figure of speech' fits them.
Still had time left to waste after returning home.Waking up kids early sometimes is a big ordeal. I just switched on the light and started talking to my son.He half opened his eyes and hugged me close as if to silence my words.
Slowly i started cajoling him. "Puppy, you told they  teach yoga in your school, why don't you teach the same to daddy, we both will go to terrace and practice". But before he could stir I heard a mumble "mm, don't go to terrace,its cold out there, stay in the hall".He started to curl up more towards me..
"O.K, you need not wake up puppy, I shall carry you" for which I got a silent nod. I gently lifted him up, crossed her and slowly pulled the bedroom door. Carrying him and opening the latch without making noise was even more difficult.Somehow managed that too, he clinging to me even more diligently.
 The terrace was wet, the walls moist, and cold breeze made him shudder. The neighboring hills were covered with clouds descended on them.I gently lowered him and he sat squeezing his eyes.Then he opened his mouth."first we need not sit, you stand and lift your legs and rotate your heels". I lifted him up and promptly followed his orders.Then we started doing certain things in a haphazard manner.Fully awake now , he placed his heel on his other knee and lifted his hands above in a manner of suryanamaskar. I danced for a while and till he told that it's ok to sit now.
Suddenly he asked, " Dad, you knew of yoga when you were studying 1st standard?" for which I replied,"NO dear, I never even knew to wipe my drooling nose at that age". He beamed with pride, then he told "I'll do padmasana and you follow me".This one  we both found  very difficult to place the heels over thighs while sitting. He gave a concession that it was enough to place one heel on the thigh and allow the other leg to be just folded in squatting posture.Then came INHAAAAAAAALE, EXHAAAALE....exercises.Fully satisfied with my performance my teacher told me to kneel down , he too did the same and ducked his head between his knees and started breathing deeply. I too did the same thinking about the advantages of shifting to a city and making him join one of the best schools of this place. Though the  fees was more than what my father paid during my undergraduate and postgraduate years put together. I shouldn't be comparing those times with the present.
I became impatient as my teacher never lifted his head for quite sometime. I had lifted my head twice by now.Thought he has started dozing off.The third time I lifted my head , I saw my house maid coming towards my house.OH! this means disaster.Quickly I started" puppy its cold out here, come fast we will go downstairs and practice in the hall!"and pulled him towards me all to the astonishment and a puzzled look on my teacher's face..

Hmm about the pasuram, I found out one, the next one don't know still

திருக்கண்டேன் ; பொன்மேனி கண்டேன் திகழும்
அருக்கன் அணிநிறமும் கண்டேன் - செருக்கிளரும்
பொன்னாழி கண்டேன்; புரிசங்கம் கைக்கண்டேன்
என்னாழி வண்ணன்பால் இன்று. - பேயாழ்வார்

I saw "sri", her golden glow transforming  my  deep sea blue colored lord  into a shimmering  brightness of  morning sun, Saw his golden disc and his white conch. I saw him thus to this day- peyazhwar.
photo courtesy- Sriram kalingarayar.( his earlier caption fits perfectly-A sea of contrasts)

The divine vision of Peyazhwar and the sequences leading to how Sriman narayana manifested in front of him is a different story..

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


Was waiting for a patient to deliver, meanwhile pondering as to how to kill  time.In other times would've sent continuous text messages, while today that option became ruled out.So I thought of translating another 5 of Kothai Nachiar's  works on panchajanyam. In fact I used to call ppl as'panchajanyam' just to mock them as to how favourable they've become to kannan. That was because of the superlative manner in which the conch of kannan is variously described by Andal.
karpooram naarumo..
thadavaraiyin maethae...
சந்திர மண்டலம்போல் தாமோதரன்கையில்
அந்தரமொன்றின்றி  ஏறி அவன் செவியில்
மந்திரம் கொள்வாயே போலும் வலம்புரியே!
இந்திரனும் உன்னோடு செல்வத்துக்கு ஏலானே.

Held in the hand of my king like a moon
what do ye chant in his ears, time and on?
spiteful though, none equal your greatness
King of gods too pale before your riches.

உன்னோ டுடனே ஒருகடலில் வாழ்வாரை
இன்னாரினை யாரென்று எண்ணுவா ரில்லைகாண்
மன்னாகி நின்ற மதுசூதன் வாயமுதம்
பன்னாளும் உண்கின்றாய் பாஞ்ச சன்னியமே .

Who cares about the multitudes, others..
born along with you in the mighty waters
worthy of tasting his nectarine sweetness
unsurpassed , 'panchajanya' is your greatness.

போய் தீர்தமாடாதே நின்ற புணர் மருதம்
சாய்த்து ஈர்த்தான் கைத்தலத்தே ஏறிக் குடிகொண்டு
சேய்த்தீர்த்த மாய்நின்ற செங்கண்மால் தன்னுடைய
வாய்த்தீர்த்தம் பாய்ந்தாட வல்லாய், வலம்புரியே!

Anointed by his holy waters, of lotus eyed lord
climbed unto his hands, unsung by any bard
Praise to thee, 'Valampuri', ye do save the worry
To travel and to bathe in all places holy..

செங்கமல நாண்மலர்மேல் தேன் நுகரும் அன்னம் போல்
செங்கண் கருமேனி வாசுதேவனுடைய
அங்கைத் தலமேறி அன்னவசம் செய்யும்
சங்கு அரையா உன்செல்வம் சால அழகியதே!

A swan diving into  honey of lotus bud
Divine is your place, Oh king of shells
In the crimson palm of my lord ye dwell
what defines of thy glory,your wealth?

உண்பது சொல்லில் உலகளந்தான் வாயமுதம்
கண்படை கொள்ளல் கடல்வண்ணன் கைத்தலத்தே
பென்படையார் உன்மேல் பெரும்பூசல் சாற்றுகின்றார்
பண்பல செய்கின்றாய் பாஞ்சசன்னியமே !

Simple is to say, that you taste his lips
To sleep your day, In his palms you do rest
Love smitten souls, we never had your bliss
You make us burn of desire and of lust..

It was very difficult translating the complex tamil, its nuances and  Hindu mythology..At times i had to skip the references to his name and had to write lord or king. Every other name has a separate meaning.Damodaran, kadal vannan, vasudevan, indiran, sengan maal..Couldn't imagine a nearest phrase for' vaai theertham paaynthaada vallaai',the literal meaning may sound improper. And there is a big story behind ' Punar marutham saaithu eerthaan" which refers to kannan befelling two kinkaras who stood as trees while he passed between them with a big stone tied to his waist..So i skipped that story and plainly said that unsung by any bard. Again' Pen Padaiyaar'- girls ? women folk? ... Thamizhae, azhagae, amudae...

One interesting event that happened while typing this was the effect of a promise  I made to my dharmapatni. That I wouldn't scold her for another year and would ( happily?)( never)comply with all  her orders. I was made to run around like an errand boy. Called to carry her books she was reading in tv hall, the pillows, water bottle and even the lemon she was sniffing ( vaaya kuduthu maatikirathu- Imagine mudhalvan).she came and stood in front of washroom and called out my name. ( i  was busy on the computer) and i replied with utmost calm as to whether I should  open the door for her.( thank god , she imagined that i was using the toilet) and the ultimate thing was Her mane was unruly and she couldn't reach her hand s to tie them in a plait and I had to help her..still continuing.(I mean errands).HMMM..Kanna let us also have some privileges.. .

Monday, November 8, 2010

Aalaanen Naan Kannanukae...

அண்டமெல்லாம் நிறைந்த பரம்பொருள்
என்னை அடிமைத் தொழில் புரியச் சொன்னது
'இம்'என செப்புவதற்கு முன்னே
நானும் அவன் அடி புகுந்து விட்டேன்

என்ன என் பெயரில் ஈரம் கொண்டாய் என்று
கண்ணா என மனம் கரைந்து உருகுது
என்னவாகில் என்ன நான் அவன் ஆளுமை கொண்டதனால்
ஒன்றும் குறை அறியாது நெஞ்சம் சரண் புகுந்ததுவே!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Of promises...

Kannan has made a promise to all those who seek his refuge. Sometimes I wonder that when we believe in promises made and forgotten, we start blaming each other.Promises by men are also mortal., Immortal are these words spoken by kannan in gita

manmanaa bhava madbhaktho madhyaajee maam namaskuru
maamevaishyasi sathyam thae prathijaanae priyosi mae. 18 -65

Absorb your self in Me: Be wholly devoted to Me: worship and bow to Me alone: so shall you undoubtedly reach Me. This I promise you faithfully, for you are dear to Me. (18:65)

There is a nice Nammazhwar pasuram reflecting my thoughts..

உரைக்கில் ஓர் சுற்றத்தார் உற்றாறேன்றாரே?
இரைக்கும் கடல்கிடந்த எந்தாய் ! - உரைப்பெல்லாம்
நின்னன்றி மற்றிலேன் கண்டாய், எனதுயிற்கோர்
சொல்நன்றி  யாகும் துணை.

I know of promises which were made to break
Of near and dear ones, never lasted a day break
To comfort my soul, To support and to promise,
your words are my refuge,My lord over the seas!

And a profound poetic verse which inspired me to write that   love ... towards kannan..
A poem by Rumi.. the mystic persian poet..


Love of the dead does not last,
because the dead will not return.
But love of the living
is in every moment fresher than a bud,
both to the inward and the outward eye.
Choose the love of that Living One
who is everlasting, who offers you
the wine that increases life.
Do not say, 'We have no entrance to that King.'
Dealings with the generous are not difficult.

-- (RUMI, "Rumi Daylight")

And something which i couldn't stop putting in words...Not in a bad mood..but indifferent and numb thoughts..
Broken promises

I opened my heart to you,when you said your love
you said friends, and I shouldered your prayers and vows
I shared your mirth and interests, your woes and burden
then you were dead one day, all of a sudden
when I sat weeping my heart out on your grave.
I leaned upon a shoulder that lifted me up and gave
some hope, support and a way to forget my loss
torn between silence and indifference, between mirage and oasis
the crutches i wore stood broken, alone should i stand
'cos he told to get along with life, and parted his hands
I no longer wait for a  fellow traveler, but pull over the veil
To cover the dust, the heat and a face gone pale
As fate always possesses in its chests, all our desires and wants
making us desperate till we become numb and desire naught...