Thursday, April 28, 2011

For a change.. Love...

I remembered
That  I  loved and died..
Where did I wake up today?

The love failed
And i cursed you for it
The love failed
And you took up the blame
How much more would you love me
For love’s sake?

You walked away
And left a trace
I followed that back
To find memories..

How long will you lament?
As long as your heart pours
And words are moist..

When at last he asks
‘Son, how was your stay?’
I would ask another chance
For fair play..

Friday, April 22, 2011

He bridged the gap...

He came to the bedroom with a scoff. Climbed up the bed and ducked his head between his arms, facing the pillow. They had a tiff, I suppose, the usual one, this time she was in charge of the remote and watching her favourite soap. I didn’t intervene in their fight, either way it is cartoons or Nigella feasts. So I better sit in front of computer and carry on with my usual stuff. I glanced him from the corner of my eyes. He never was sobbing, but waiting for one of us to come and coax him, lift him and plead him. I was bemused, didn’t know whether he was really upset or just seeking intervention.

I waited to see him lift his head on his own. The stalemate was prolonging. I switched off the computer and just sat beside him, prodding. He didn’t stir, but buried his head further in his hands. I know how to handle his sweet anger.I took his favourite story book( amar chitra katha) and started reading it aloud. For a while he waited, then he sprang up, telling ‘Dad, You first tell the story in tamil, then read the book’.I pulled him towards me, tucked him between my lap, the pages of book visible to both and continued telling the story.

Today I was having a novel by Khaled hossaini in my hands, and my favourite place in bed is towards the wall. She was having something which read as ‘The bride’s awakening’ and she preferred to sleep towards the fan. There was an emptiness between us. I could hear that the tv was on in the hall and Nigella was dishing out something yummy in her kitchen. So much so for Nigella and surgical vidoes on net..

P.S. He left to his grandparents house for his vacations one week back.

And to something which Iwrote as sms and sent to my friend  when my son was still younger and grew up with my parents for almost 2 years.

He  bridged the gap between my father and me
His wait was longer, for he was unaware of days and weeks
A mind of grown up I demanded , A kid he was , to say..
we all would be together , the next of next birthday..
‘I love you dear’ I told ,  promptly returned with a smile
Unaware of  how powerful were his words and how meek was but mine.

and a pasuram by periyazhwar

வண்ணக் கருங்குழல் மாதர் வந்து அலர் தூற்றிட
பண்ணிப் பல செய்திப் பாடி எங்கும் திரியாமே
கண்ணுக்கு இனியானை கான் அதரிடைக் கன்றின்பின்
எண்ணற்கு அரியானைப் போக்கினேன்; எல்லே பாவமே!
பெரியாழ்வார்  பாசுரம்

They came to complain  his playful ways,
His pranks, his stealth and even his grace
Dispensed his charms, clouded by haze,
I sent him far,  into the woods to graze
And  tend  the cattle , my little cowherd
And spiteful now, for my heart is weird..

Periyazhwar... ( Probably is this how Yashodha had rambled after sending kannan for grazing cattle?)

Monday, April 18, 2011

I saw him in Chennai...( ha ha why limit him to triplicane?)

I had no tears in my eyes, nor words in my heart.
No thanks to tell or prayers to part
I stood there seeing him, He saw me, stood tall.
The shell, the crown, the flowers and all.
In his feet I've fallen before, I fell today, to mark my day..
Never shew my pain or glee, for nothing I've retained to say.
The murmuring chants, my legs that walked
My folded hands , were sacraments I talked
Heavy became my load, and gathering all pieces.
For a while I'd rest, as my journey seems endless...

மீனமர் பொய்கை நாள் மலர் கொய்வான்  வேட்கையினோடு சென்றிழிந்த
கானமர் வேழம் கைஎடுத்தலற கரா அதன் காலினை கதுவ
ஆணையின் துயரம் தீரப் புள்ளூர்ந்து சென்று நின்று ஆழி தொட்டானை
தேனமர் சோலை மாடமாமயிலை திருவல்லிக்கேணிக் கண்டேனே ..

திருமங்கை அழ்வர்

( I saw him in triplicane. .. thirumangai azhwar..)

Monday, April 11, 2011

Irrepressible - heat or breeze?

                  Lashing droplets..
          Fierce upon barren earth
   pregnant dark clouds empty their load
bartering the swelter to a new found breeze
                summer showers..

photo courtesy                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

              Sultry, sulky
     Simmering ,sweltering, scorching
       Distant horizon craves again
Don't know whether these two equate to a cinquain..hope should clarify..
I'm off on a  vacation..So may not post anything for sometime..
And my son to his grandparent's house,, I feel like a distant horizon craving for rain...
But could the cool breeze too  mock someone? very frequently used in tamil cinema songs..
I chanced to see this anecdote in a pasuram by tirumangai azhwar...
 காரும் வார் பனிக் கடலும், அன்னவன் 
தாரும்  மார்வமும் கண்ட தண்டமோ?
சோரு மாமுகில் துளியினூடு வந்து 
ஈர வாடைதான் ஈரும் என்னையே 

திருமங்கை ஆழ்வார் 

The breeze is laced with droplets cold..
Of the showers somewhere, from the distant clouds.
Its coldness clamping my soul, my being,
Reminding his nature, the iciness pervading
Mocking my heart, desiring his form
Of deep blue sea, and of thunderstorm..

thirumangai azhwar...
தமிழ் புத்தாண்டு வாழ்த்துக்கள் for all hose who celebrate tamil new year..
and happy vishu for our friends from west coast...

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Borrowed sentiments..

Am I worth it?

Nobler to say I gave up

Pity if I sulk within.

When I take up a blame,

and when I suppress my hurt

When I let things go by

To make myself more worthy

My voice would sound so different,

Different rather from my heart

Clear without a blemish,

The air of purity I may gain..

The extra mile that I've walked

Craggy with thorns it would be..

((inspired by a post by deeps..

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

life comes a full circle...

photo courtesy ;      

Every time there's a rise or a downfall,
The soul startles with pleasure or pain..

Life speaks of the offerings it partook
To wait also is bliss..
Who knows what is behind the veiled platter?
Drown and dwell before you get down.

to what I had written originally in tamil..

மேலே செல்வதுவும், கீழே வீழ்வதுவும்
செல்லும் சக்கரத்தில் பழுதொன்றுமில்லை
மனது குறுகுறுக்கும், ஜில்லிடும் தருணங்களில்
வாழ்க்கை அனுபவிக்கும் எச்சங்கள் பேசும்..
காத்திருப்பது ஒரு சுகம் போலும்.
மூடிய துனியின் கீழ் கனிகள் எவ்விதமோ?
இறங்கி விடும் முன்பு மூழ்கித் திளைப்பது நன்று

Monday, April 4, 2011

Eyes are the same...

Is it true, that only one can stay..

Love or hatred? Where does it sway?

When in love, I voiced your words.

Who basked in whose love, none could  say..

I turn away , to make our day..

A different mask for each today..

But eyes are the same, they never feign

Of love, of hate, of longing and pain...

akath kahani prem ki, kuch kahi na jaye
goonge keri sarkara, baithae muskae 

Inexpressible is the story of Love
It cannot be revealed by words
Like the dumb eating sweet-meat
only smiles, the sweetness he cannot tell..
( Don't know where I downloaded this couplet, Just reading when I thought of posting something which I had written before..of love)

hmm...tamil pasuram..?? kannabiran help me..haven't translated anything..getting late for work..

'நுமக்கடியோம் ' என்றென்றும் நொந்துரைத்தது என் ? மாலார்
தமக்கவர்தாம் சார்வரியரானால் - எமக்கினி 
யாதானும் ஆகிடு காண் நெஞ்சே ! அவர் திறத்தே
யாதானும் சிந்தித்திரு .

whatever becomes of me, why do you ramble?
forever pining, 'thy servant, Humble'
Indifferent, dear heart, My lord , as he is 
reckon, forever, in his thoughts as you wish..


KP sir,thamizhil piragu..