If my answer is an Yes, I would be wrong, If my answer is a no- I still would be wrong.But so many things have changed in the past and I had promised to become a devotee for kannan’s sake.Not that I loathe the decision. In fact that was his way to bring me into his fold.But I only fear my conscience as to how far I am true to my promise.I have a profession, I have a family, I have my kannan too.when the balance trips,my dear ones are startled.But I know that he takes care of me with my worries.sometimes my soul gets startled when I feel that I veer out of my path.I am no different person. I am one among others , with deceit, loathe, passion, love and desires, but with some new found love towards kannan.The reason behind this maybe because that I started reading some 4000 verses in tamil.The mysticism in those poems completely captivated my heart, especially the 1000 by Nammazhwar..
So to answer the question posed by Kpartha ( Ah, nice symbolism-I mean the name)I'll get the help from nammazhwar's verses..( and hide behind him)
நெறிகாட்டி நீக்குதியோ? நின்பால் கருமா
முறிமேனி காட்டுதியோ? மேனாள்- அறியோமை
என் செய்வான் எண்ணினாய்? கண்ணனே! ஈதுரையாய்
என் செய்தால் என்படோம் யாம்?
Ignorant now I am, ignorant I was in days past
What maketh me of myself , my dear lord?
showing thine path ,will you part?
Else will you wait, to behold my hand?
Whatever be your design, I dither not
Abandoned too , I’ll track thy path..
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±ýÉ¡ø ¦ºÂüÀ¡Ä ¦¾ý?
These are verily good for my heart
These are to be frowned by the soul
These are good and bad, I know
You fit myself into these, my lord
Without thy designs and your word
How am I to know the chaff?