Sunday, June 26, 2011

Pretense and Andaal..

Penance, I have never known
Knowledge is but patchy and few
My love, I retract and want again,
Comforts for the soul to gain.
Deliverance,unto your feet I loathe,
'truth, are but lies deftly closed'
I say, I fancy all these words
With a mind of wool to rave and play..
A greater fish swallowed me,
My tiny world closed on me
and when at last you swallow me..
I wonder whether it balms the soul...

You forsake me
with the same intensity
with which you loved me..
I stay baffled as to find
which was pretense
and which was the truth!

( In bits and pieces I  write whenever I find time..Doing surgeries are no doubt my passion, but writing poems too , I love of late..probably this is the fish which is being swallowed by a bigger fish... )

another pasuram by Kothai andaal..which speaks of love and pretense...

செம்மையுடைய திருவரங்கர் தாம் பணித்த
மெய்ம்மை பெருவார்த்தை விட்டுசித்தர் கேட்டிருப்பார்
தம்மை உகப்பாரை தாம் உகப்பர் என்னும் சொல்
தம்மிடையே பொய்யானால் சாதிப்பார் ஆர் இனியே?

கோதை நாச்சியார் ..

'Relinquish all and seek me alone'
His words carried through ages down,
'He seeks, those who seek him true!'
those words, are they a pretense now?
Is there someone to coerce him?
to remind his ways, to mind his words?
for he never did fend my heart..
from wholesome love and languid pain...

Kothai nachiyar..

And NRI girl had commented in my last post.. that the pasuram also evades her..
so I translated the pasuram on a free day.. but unable to write down in blog..

the translated version of the poem..

Devoid of vice, A blossomed mind
'HIS' radiance , does it try to find
and through my senses and my flesh
In vain, I fathom to hold his grace..
In days past, now and days to come.
He stays unmoved, compared to none,
and all through, He is dear to me,
My lord, who is dearer than life...


Monsoon is active in our part of state... Love the rains.. and the cloud again reminds me of another andaal pasuram...

Thoughts On  a monsoon evening..

We got ready soon.She was waiting in the sofa, watching tv..I was standing on the balcony, watching the clouds gather and the winds forcing them towards the yercaud hills..And then started the downpour., the proper lashing rains of monsoon..
We planned to go for usual Saturday temple, following it with odyssey stores, then some light dinner outside.( amma definitely would have prepared something at home). We preferred to leave our son with my parents..I too need some time alone.. all these ten days I was busy with work and practice, the last weekend I had a confernce to attend. Operating on high risk patients sometimes drains us  with all post operative complaints..So needed some space to be together.

I came to the rainshadow side of the balcony. Watching the wind, the rains and the sway of the tree tops.I was reminded of a pasuram by Andaal..

She came beside me and told “ shall we skip temple today.. I can’t wade through the puddle there with this saree..we just could go to odyssey and come..Morning we shall go to the temple.” I smiled and told, “Ok, we shall first go to odyssey and then decide”.

She would have wondered , why i never scoffed for getting all the stuff she thinks is important, which I say ‘occupies space at home’..And when I drove the car from exit side of Odyssey, I turned towards the road to temple.The heavy downpour had subdued, and she too was never in a complaining mood..

and the pasuram by andaal..

கார்காலத் தெழுகின்ற கார்முகில்காள்! வேங்கடத்துப்
போர்காலத் தெழுந்தருளிப் பொருதவனார் பேர் சொல்லி
நீர்காலத் தெருக்கினம் பழஇலைபோல் வீழ்வேனை
வார்காலத் தொருநாள் தம் வாசகன்தான் தருளாரே.

கோதை நாச்சியார் 

OH! The darkened clouds of monsoon..
Will you reveal my pain to the lord
Who’s name ,like trance, I chant forever
The valorous lord of Venkatam hills..
like the withered leaves of a giant milk weed,
ready to snap at the touch of a drop
My heart swoons for his  word of love
all through, I pine for the day to come..

kothai naachiyar..

Vekatam hills( tirumala) photo courtesy..Sriraam
(   P.S... A perfect start for a sunday.. I hope to become active blogger again ..Haven't read other blogs too.. Yeah, she woke up and telling me to get idiappam from Uzhavar Santhai for morning breakfast before it gets over there.. .;))


  1. Hi Adithyasaravana! Thank you for your time and efforts to translate it for me. Sincerely.

    I must admit I am in a hurry right now, as kids are pulling from either side to be taken to bed. It is 11:13 PM on Saturday.

    I promise to be back tomorrow to read at leisure and comment properly. Just wanted to send you a quick note to show my appreciation.

    So, you are a Doctor? That too Surgeon? Very cool! Way to go!

  2. hmm... I'm not a general surgeon.. I am a gynecologist..very rare species in tamilnadu ( I mean male gynecologist.. )..hope you enjoy your sunday..and thanks for your comments..

  3. Wonderful poems, I was interested to learn of your professiion, I try to shy away from mine as I had adnormal smears for 18 months but quite recently had the pre cancerous cells removed. I have also been to Canada and the US and had a wonderful vacation which I have written about in poetry form.

    Have a peaceful Sunday and enjoy your rest.

  4. I enjoyed looking at your photos and reading your poems :-)

    God bless you and have a great week :-)


  5. ரொம்ப ஒசத்தியாக இருக்கு மொத்தத்திலே!!
    சிலது புரிகிறது ,சிலது புரிந்த மாதிரி தோன்றுகிறது, மற்றது என் மூளைக்கு எட்டாமல் உள்ளது.
    ஆண்டாளின் பாசுரங்கள் என்னை எப்பொழுதுமே பரவசப்படுத்தும்.இப்பொழுது கேட்கவே வேண்டாம்.உங்கள் மொழி பெயர்ப்பு மிகவும் நேர்த்தி.அந்த NRI பெண்ணிற்கு மிக்க நன்றி

  6. hi yvonne.. you still need to keep up your appointments with gynecologist.. it is good to know that your abnormal cells are removed.. actually pap smears are a rewarding screening method..they help us remove abnormal cells with least invasive methods..
    and I hope you had a great vacation..
    thanks for your visits and comments.

    @ Ron..
    I recently changed house.. and those were the views from front and back side of my house.. aren't they nice.. I started liking my house..In India,
    we have a practice of bending and touching the feet of elders before being blessed.. and namaskaram Ron..

    @ KP sir...
    சொந்த சரக்கு பெருசாக ஒன்னும் இல்லை.. அப்பப்போ கண்ணனை தீவிரமாக பற்றுவேன்..சில நேரம் கண்டுக்காமல் இருப்பேன்.. சில சமயம் ஆண்டாள் பாசுரம் படிக்கும்போது நெஞ்சையே உருக்கி கட்டிப்போடும்.. மார்கழி மாசத்தில நம்மையும் சேர்த்து ஆயர்ப்பாடிக்கே கூட்டி போயிடுவா.. இங்க, தமிழ் நாடு வந்த பின்னாடித்தான் திருப்பாவையும், பாசுரச்சுவையும் தெரிய வந்தது.. புரியாதமைக்கு காரணம், எனக்கே புரியாமல் சில நிகழ்வுகள் வாழ்க்கையில் நடந்தது.. பிறகுத்தான் ஒரு சத்தியம் காப்பது போல் சில வார்த்தைகளை பற்ற ஆரம்பித்தேன்.. அதை எழுத வேண்டுமென்றால்..( இனி எனக்கொரு சத்தியம் செய்து கொடு.. கண்ணனுக்காக நீ சாது ஆகிவிட்டாய் என நினைத்துக்கொள்)...துறவரத்தில் எல்லாம் நம்பிக்கை இல்லை.. என்னையும் நம்பி இரு ஜீவங்கள் உள்ளன..நாலாயிரமும், நம்மாழ்வார் பாசுரங்களுமே எனக்கு சிறந்த ஊன்றுகோலாகவும், அந்த வாக்கை காப்பற்ற வழியாகவும் உள்ளன..மற்றபடி ஆசாபாசங்கள் உள்ள சாதாரண மனிதன் தான் நான்..நல்ல மொழிபெயர்ப்பு என சொன்னதற்க்கு நன்றி..

  7. That’s like the muse was showing ideas and inspiration up on you like rain… after all it was getting cloudy and beginning to burst :P
    The sound and smell and feeling of rain everywhere is same ha?
    Looks like doing surgeries is like scribbling poems !!ohhhh

  8. So Beautiful Write Up & Photos :) :) I Loved The Nature. You Are Really Blessed & Lucky To Stay With Such A Divine Nature :) :)

  9. oh well said creativity...this guy deserves all the praise..

  10. @ deeps..the sound, smell and feeling of rain.. captivates many a heart.. and I know how much it rains in kerala.. I stayed for a whole monsoon in kerala..hmmm..doing surgeries, i think, is more easier..we know the end result.. less bleeding, neat and quick..or whether it is prolonged, messy and wearisome..poems and thoughts..are devoid of technicalities of those surgeries..more of direct one to one talk..( i think I converse a lot..;))

    @ creativity...yeah.. I too liked those photos.. and the view from the steps to terrace.. sometimes after a rain the emarald green hills appear so fresh..dotted by buses going up and down the road..I hope i get more sundays just to sit and gaze the view..
    .. kaala vaari vidureengalae??...salethukku vanthaa veettukku vaanga.. yercaud kootti poraen..

  11. hey thanks yar..salem saapadu super illai? hey u plan a trip to sharjah yar..or wait until i say goodbye here and return to chennai or mumbai..god knows when..thanks boss

  12. Very nice after a long long time I am reading this
    type of sayings.

    Then have you got the Idiyappam or not.

  13. @latha..
    I bought idiappam luckily, the last week, though i started for the market, a phone call came and i talked for almost one hour.. and by the time i went there.. all idiappam had been sold.. but this time i was careful and got full marks from wife.. but the thengai paal became very thin, so only 50% marks for her..

  14. Ok, I am back! Not as I had promised in one day, but in one week! Better late than never right?

    Enjoyed the post and the rain. So, when will you introduce the girl to us? I mean the 'she' you often refer to...

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